The never ending battle

I get chills when he texts me..brrr..that can't be normal. I think I've said it before, but it's like fireflies jacked up on redbull swirling around inside me..what the hell is it? And I know I'm not sick sick..I had my flu mist bitches :) He makes me smile every time he shoots me a text. He just doesn't say the right things, he goes above and beyond  and back again to the point of driving me craaaaazy! And the coolest part - he calls me dude hahahahahaheeeheee. Now, you might think that's silly or dumb, but to me, it means the world!! If you know me, or been around me a day, you know I call everyone dude...I guess it all started with me and HB...I can't really remember...I didn't realize I said it so much until my 9yo cousin asked me over Christmas, "cuz, why do you call me dude?" LOL. I nearly fell over laughing..I said, "well dude, I call everyone dude...is that cool?" She said, "yeah dude"!! ahhwwww :) So the fact that HE calls me dude, to me is AWESOME and AMAZING...I know I know I'm a goof ball whatever :P And in advance I'm apologizing if the next 1,000 blogs are about him :) He's my front burner, my baaaabbby, my country boy, he's my dude..Today my mom told me she was talking to my aunt and she made a comment about how I have a new boyfriend...hmmmmm mom chuckled as she told me how she told my aunt..nawhhh she doesn't have a bf, they're just friends :) Awww mom sticking up for me..she does listen :) thx mom! It's a never ending battle the battle of "titles" and "officalness". After every ending relationship I go through the phase of ooooh I'm a tough girl, I don't need a man, I don't need to be in a relationship...I don't do titles...Well it's like marriage folks..once you sign on the dotted line (or change your fb status) everything goes sour. And not the sweet and sour yumminess, but rotten sour bitter BULL SHIT. So you can see why I'm not partial to the whole "title system".. why can't I have my own fucking rules? huh? Well, I CAN BITCHES AND I WILL!!! pffft :) And I'm not opposed to all titles, I just want it on my terms, my rules, my form..damn I'm sounding like an Aries Nazi...thanks Dude (HB ;). . . and I do have a title - I'm his "baby" :-) After tonight it's only one more and a wake up!!! I can't wait to see him :) I wanna go to bed right now just so I can wake up and be one day closer...damn I'm cheesy...
Another never ending battle to say it or not to say it...I almost said it again today, well texted it..and if you're gonna say it, you can' t do it in a text ...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm    Stay tuned folks...


Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

Day 31

LAST DAY OF THE MONTH!! whoo hoooo WE MADE IT!! :) Thanks Ya'll! :) Goal for the month is to get more followers.. now I know most of you read this on FB...but I would like for you to "follow" me too!!! It only shows 8 followers which one is myself, my bff HB, and my ex which I'm sure he stopped reading months ago...SO FOLLOW ME BITCHES :) lv ya


So it's here! Last day of JAN..lets tally it up:
Days of No meat 30 (had one bite of deer in the mtns..thx Matty)
Days of No Alcohol 26!!! damn pretty good
Days of No fast food 29!! (again thx Matty lol)
and the whole no smoking thing...well...that's a bitch.. and until I'm truly ready to see myself as a "non-smoker" I don't think I'll ever quit.. yes I hate it, I hate the smell, I hate paying $6 for a pack, but every now and then it's just so so so sweet... ugggg any suggestions?!


Ok, so one thing is on my mind this morning.....2 more days and a wake up!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAAYYY! Can't wait to hit the road and not only do I get to see Matty Ice and Gary, and some of my new bitches like Amber...but also I get to see my favorite band American Aquarium!!! whoo hoooo if you don't know... look'em up..they even have a song named AnnMarie!! heheheheh


ok, well I must stop bloggin and get to work uggggg HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE

half way thru the day whoo hoooo and no smoking yet today.. even though I really wanted one otw to work.. i didn't.. yay! Geeze work is flying by, staying busy ... blha blha blah! but at least it's fun and I get to work with cool ass people :) I'm outta here.. maybe I'll blog later, maybe you'll just have to wait till next month :)

until next time bitches ~ prost

Day 30

No Meat, No fast food, No booze, No smokes (day 3 on the no smokes)...opps, I had one today, and it felt great. and I had a few swigs of wine when i got home from vb.. opps..i really miss red wine.. maybe I'll just go back to wine .. :)

Coming soon starting FEB, I will no longer be tracking the days in the title, nor the NO meat, No blah blabh blahb.. I'll just write about it.. k..got it? good.  :)

what a wonderful weekend to be outside!! It's sooo warm!! can't wait for more vb action tonight...and I actually get to play with vb guy..hmmm

Yeah the day is almost over.. i'm pooped..I guess that's what 3 + hours of vb will do!! Went and had sushi before vb with vb guy...girls gotta eat right...even though I guess it was technically a "date" since he paid...i just didn't feel anything. I mean he's a great guy don't get me wrong, good looking, great job, motivated, good vb player...well rounded...just no feelings there..and the whole time we're eating there's only one person on my mind and in my heart...i guess i'm starting to realize it more and more each and every day that i'm smitten by the one and only ... i don't even know if i'm ready for all of this again.. i like the dating thing and not having to answer to anyone..but i did feel a lil guilty being out with vb guy tonight..not the guilty feeling of ohh i'm cheating, but for vb guy..is it leading him on by having sushi before vb together.. or is it just friends grabbing a bite to eat before getting all sweaty.. i'm thinking the latter. We had some good games tonight!! Damn it Matty get outta my head...no not really..in a way I like that he's always on my mind, it just sucks he's 270 miles away from me :( only a few more days!!!! Heeeeey Baaabbbby!!


Maybe I"m just not made to be in relationships...i like playing the field it's fun! But then again I also like knowing.. like coming home to that one person everyday, texting and sexting all day with him, and waking up every morning to the one who makes me happy and smile, and feel that all is right in the world...damn I'm confusing.. no wonder you boys have a hard time.. i can't even figure it out on myself.. geeze. i now feel myself rambling, so I'm gonna stop myself, and stop boring all of you with my back and forth girl babble, and leave it in my head lol.. 

until next time bitches ~ prost

Most Wonderful :)

I have the absolutely most wonderful man in my life, and nooooo it's not Drake. He is sooo sweet, so caring, so freakin' thoughtful!! I didn't know guys like this even existed in real life..or that this could be so easy, and feel so so natural. It's not work at all...i use to always tell my ex, well we have to work at this...it's give and take...but it's not like that at all...it's not work, it's fun, exciting, I fill full of life! :) I feel Alive and ooozzzing joy and happiness out of my whole body to the point I get chills. I can't stop smiling, I feel all giddy all the time, and people at work are starting to tell me I'm glowing :) HA..I'm starting to feel complete and it's an indescribable feeling. that's all, I just wanted to shout it out off the roof top, off the tallest mountain, and longest pier. Oh and not to mention freaking sexy as hell!!! :) I was describing him to Liz today at vb with my huge cheesy smile on how sexy and gorgeous he is...bc she was drooling over the vb guys, and her friend was like "my husband is the hottest man", and I was like nawh...my baby is...his eyes, the way he looks at me, his Mohawk and tattoos, the way he pulls me into him...omg i'm melting now...BAAABBBY, I freaking...well, you know.................you're the one Matty.

until next time bitches ~ unst unst unst :) 

Day 29

NO Meat, No fast food, No Alcohol ( well i am playing vb today so maybe i'll have one hahahah, depends if vb guy buys me one lol)

NO smokes, again I'm playing vb...so maybe i will, maybe i won't.. hmmmmm

Did  you guys realize this is the first weekend since the 30th of December I haven't been or seen Matty Ice...ikr...But it's ok, I'm super busy this weekend and I can clean the house and wash my dirty dogs..things that have been lacking due to my traveling the state hahahahah..I hate I'm missing HB's work party...i mean open bar, tuna, crab cakes...but I gotta have a weekend to myself.. it's kinda nice.. well so far.. oh shit.. i gotta go.. vb time... 

whoo hooo I didn't smoke or drink at vb today! My friend asked, Annmo, where's your beer?? i was like i'm on sabbatical.. everyone laughed.. heheheh vb was good.. didn't win a lot, but had a blast..and there was some nice eye candy out there today..the doubles men's team seem to be practicing today...hmm hmmmm

Oh how I miss Matty Ice.. I guess I could take drake for a walk..or go running, or something...then a bath and nap are def in my future..well I did walk/jog with Drake today, bathed him, bathed me lol, no nap yet..but I get to sleep in tomorrow sooooo excited for that to take place. I can't remember the last time I was able to sleep past 9am! OMG so at vb today it was nice a warm, so no vb socks were required which I OMG realized I need to do my toes:) another thing I realized was how ashy, white, and hairy my legs were uccck. I guess that's what the winter does, and not seeing matty this weekend doesn't require shaving lol..so as soon as I showered, that was first on my list, remove hair from legs. whoooof, feel much better. Can't wait for more vb tomorrow night :) 


My mind completely goes blank when I start talking to him..i can't blog right now...ahh ok, focus...damn it...I know I said I was gonna tear down the wall, and I have torn it down about 1/2 half...it's that last 1/2 that's a bitch to get down...as much as I want to just give in 100% and let go, and just let fate or whatever this is take over...i'm still nervous as hell..It feels soo different, yet so right all at the same time. I mean if there truly are real soul mates out there.. i think i've found my match...I was beginning to think HB was my soul mate and we were gonna have to convert to lesbos..i guess she's now off the hook, well at least for now dude. I can't even say it...I don't know if i'm ever gonna be able to say it again...I mean I wanted to last weekend, I wanted to today, I just don't. Maybe it's the last thing I'm holding onto..if i never say it...i can't get hurt right? I mean I say it to Drake, and MOm, and HB all the time, and even to G-money aka Jr. but they're never gonna rip out my heart, squeeze it between their teeth, then throw it against the fucking wall...so for now I'm still holding onto it.. well maybe I'll blog again later, maybe you'll just have to wait till tomorrow...
ps, i did have a few swigs of wine tonight while i was cooking heheeheh :) 


Until next time bitches ~ prost

Day 28 - late

NO MEAT, NO ALCOHOL, NO FAST FOOD....

smokes..? hmmmmmm no smokes today!! 

I was sooo busy yesterday I couldn't even blog...geeze! then I came home and slept and tried to catch up on my DVR...nice to do nothing!!! 

Short blog, I'll blog later...gotta head to VB...

until next time bitches ~ prost 

Day 27

NO MEAT NO ALCOHOL NO FAST FOOD

FIrst of all I want to apologize for my ADD blogs lately..I feel like I have just been all over the place, but like I tell my friends, when I'm writing I write like I'm talking to you..so if my brain is being a lil ADD, then so will my blogs.. I'll try and keep it under wraps :)

Since it is nearing the end of the month, I wanted to give you guys an end of the month report on the resolutions...in the last 27 days I have had one bite of deer meat, drank 4 days, ate fast food (taco bell) once, and well the smoking - the smoking is a bitch..haven't had any today so far, but the day's not over. uggg I had one otw to lunch...ugggg f'n Jess..hahahah not her fault..it feels so natural and right with the world to have one in my hand..ahhhhh. One of these days...maybe I need to be hypnotized, hmmmm.Oh Geeze, i had another one..damn.

So, I forgot to mention last night that I got IT!! I got gma's approval from country heheheh :) This is a pretty big deal...I mean other then the best friends approval or roommate or parents, it's the gma who matters the most, so that was good news!! I was telling my girl at work what gma had said about me, that i was "cute as a button and has a wonderful personality". Bruce said, duh, tell me something I don't know lol.. true.. but it's still wonderful to hear :)

My head is starting to race like a girl, and i'm not liking it one bit..I keep trying to turn it off, think about something else, and flat out tell myself..it's no big deal dude, STOP.
This morning was strange, I woke up at 0330 and felt well rested, so laid back down thinking oh I'll just rest until 04 and be cool, get up and get shit done..but when I woke up at 04 I felt sooo tired and drained...at least I was carpooling today (due to my POS car) and got to catch a lil cat nap before work :) yay! I wish I could sleep all day...I think I might try that this weekend...so anyways, I was up and moving around and staring at the one thing all girls stare at in their closet (well at least I do). I stare at them everyday at least twice a day. Now, HB stares at her pics of bikini babes on the fridge for motivation, my vice are my clothes!! Specifically the skinny jeans, or what I call my retired pants. The pants you sit aside, or hide, or box up until that one day when you'll be able to wear them in public again!! So I now have my retired pants in my closet on the shelf so as soon as I walk in, they're the first thing I see...I was feeling a lil confident this morning, I guess from playing vb last night and weighing a lil lighter the other day. So, i did it, I started with one pair, two, three, and four pairs I was a trying on machine this morning!!! One pair is back on the hangers, my fun tight low rise jeans that make my butt look amazing are now able to button...however, there is still a lil muffin top going on..so not ready for public yet, but hopefully by next thursday when I hit up the big country again ;) Mission Sexy Jeans is on..meaning work outs everyday until thursday..I worked out wednesday, vb last night, plan on yoga tonight, I have yoga friday morning...vb saturday and sunday...so If i just keep it going and try not to drink anymore milkshakes this week I should be ok heheheeeee Why do I love milkshakes soooo much? I think I can go a week without one though, I mean it will totally be worth it, to slide into my sexy jeans, and a lil something something for my country weekend ;) Damn it's still a week away...uggg but at least today is almost over! so really we're looking at 6 days and a wake up :) MUWAH. 

 So my dear dear friend Cam hooked it up on the window tonight!! whoo hooo it's up and he said he can fix it this weekend! saweet!! Awesome!! Thank you sooooo much! So after my window was fixed, i should have gone home and worked out, but house duties called, cleaning, laundry, and cooking...yum stuffed jalapenos with potatoes, cheese, and other yummy ingredients!! hmmmm. Now time for Jersey SHORE UNST UNST UNST and bed.. I miss my baby MUWAH. . 


Ohh another thing I thought of today is I think I will be dropping the "Day #" in the title of my blogs after this month and just title them accordingly, but still have the number inside my blog...hmm hmm yep, that's what I'll do...unless of course I forget..numbering is just so easy lol. 

Until next time bitches ~ unst unst unst 

Day 26

NO MEAT< NO FAST FOOD> NO ALCOHOL>

I did smoke one cigarette today and it was a menthol.. uggg. I was hard up lol..

So let me tell you about my POS car...ugggg...first it was the back windows, now my main big ole window on my side won't come up....I HATE CAR PROBLEMS!! uggg I'm ready to just turn the damn thing in and get a truck! uggg anyone have any suggestions? ? ?

VB was fun tonight, even though both teams didn't advance...but it was fun playing with the new peeps, and trying to figure out my other new team...good times, cold as fuck, but fun. Definitely glad to be home and getting warm and watching BGC...So, I'm really thinking about turning in my boxes, and give up tv all together.. I just don't have time for it in my life right now...It's taken me all week to watch just one show, and I can't even get through BGC wtf? And I still need to finish my laundry and blog and get to bed..fuck....where did the day go?? oh yeah, work 8 hours, travel time to and from 3 hours, volleyball 2 hours, shower, dinner...blog, talk to Matty :) awww that makes me happy:) 

All of it does really..and I'm not sure why or how..I feel funny inside whenever someone ask me about him, or he text me at 630am otw to work just to say he misses me, I can't stop smiling all the time. Even though he is gonna be my valentine this year, I'm still not ready to put all my eggs in one basket. I know right...I finally have a valentine's this year...hmmmm I've been asking people what do you get for a valentine...I got a few good suggestions..I was thinking just a bottle of crown, me, and some new panties..does that work? idk maybe I can ask Jr what he thinks...like I keep telling you guys, I'm horrible at this...have no clue what I'm doing hahah but it's fun! I have so much fun with him, like i'm spending time with HB...but not quite.. OMG I HAD SOOO MUCH FUN WITH HER THIS WEEKEND!!! oohhh and she got us matching vb shorts for spring season! Can not wait to wear those short shorts :) heheheheee. 
So back to Matty...hmmmm this whole 270miles apart from each other is not the most ideal, but i guess we're managing for now....He's so damn fun and sexy and mmmm.

OHHH Fun filled VB weekend... tournament saturday and new season starts sunday! yay!!! Can't wait to get started!! and with new teams too!! whooh ooooo and I'll see vb guy this weekend, oooh and my boy cam said he might be able to fix my car that would be awesome...I can afford beers and sushi rather then giving VW my money lol. I've missed cam... i had fun when we hung out.. i mean he did pop my roller derby cherry lol.. so it'll be good to stalk i mean hang out with him this weekend...


Another good thing about staying home and chilling, cleaning, and playing vb this weekend, I can catch up on my pof....oh the joys of emailing strangers lol...hahahah 

Well I have to take my lame ass to bed...fuck 0400 boooooooo I hope my schedule changes soon ;) ;) hmmmm good night ya'll MUWAH 

until next time bitches ~ Prost

Day 25

NO Meat, NO ALCOHOL(besides saturday, and one margarita sunday), No fast food.

And today is the 25th day of the new year or in other words the 27th day I've known Matty Ice....

Oh and I didn't even smoke today...yeah!! GOOD JOB - whoo hooo day one no smokes... ugggg.. I just have to stay busy. 

So work was good, I love my girl Jess she keeps me sane!! and feeds me chocolate I sooooo don't need, but I love it!! Thanks babe! 

After work I went straight to my vb peeps for yoga and vegetarian dinner!! YUM YUM - week 2 of yoga and dinner date with friends!! I LOVE IT! I think everyone should date their friends! lol So, yeah, it was great, again! 

Tomorrow we have VB PRESEASON!! YEAH!!! I'm gonna play on two teams tomorrow.. or at least try too!! heheheheh my team who I do yoga with and new vb guy's team. However, he won't be there tomorrow, so I gotta impress the rest of the team.. oh boy!! :) No worries, I got this! Then more VB thursday, well watching the cheering on my peeps...then friday's already here.. then vb tourney again saturday...where vb guy will be back.. he is persistent, I'll give him that...but right now dude, I just wanna play vb...so you better not suck! For real...don't suck! 

I just am not in the mood to start dating ...i'm busy and it doesn't seem like I can fit anyone into my life...I mean this weekend all I want to do is stay home and play vb...i feel like i haven't been home in forever.. i just need a rest, a break, and do massive amounts of laundry..I just finished unpacking from the country yesterday...I didn't really unpack from this past weekend, I just threw everything out of my bag onto the table.. call it what you want :) Anyways, so he threw out the "R" word today, but just using it as a reference...that's all.. but it still made me switch into avoidance mode..WHY? It's like auto pilot...the "R" word or "C" word makes me nervous still....ikr...stupid.. duh.. I'm retarded I know.. I am when it comes to this.. I always fuck it up, or push them away...or jump into way too many things and suddenly become "too busy"...but I like being busy, and I LIKE doing all the things I do...so why is it I can't seem to fit a boy into my schedule? hmmmmmmm..well for one it's going to have to be a special kind of guy...one that can keep up with an Aries. It's strange, somedays I want one and other's I'm perfectly content without it....even though I am missing my first vb game to go to the country...hmmm, but I mean I already took PTO, and American Aquarium IS PLAYING...and I really can't go more then 10 days without seeing him....soooo..ugg I can't believe i'm missing my first game...and now all this skyping is really getting in the way of my DVR time....I should just get rid of tv all together...anyways, now that I have gone into one of my ADD tangents.. I will stop and let you get back to whatever it is you do on Tuesday nights...thanks for listening.. 

Until next time bitches ~ Prost

Day 24

NO Alcohol, No Meat, No fast food.

Already smoked one cigeratte today - uggg. make that 2..but everything else is going back to normal..no drinking till saturday lol..think I'm just gonna drink on saturdays..there is just too many fun things to do on the weekends...anyways, the weekend was freakin' awesome as always with matty ice and HB!! Snowed in, kicking their ass in Wii Bowling :) I'm good on snow for the rest of the year though...plz go away now! 

Now, I must go 10 days without seeing him...hmmm well, at least this week is busy..I should have done my laundry today from the weekend, but fuck it...I'm getting use to living out of a bag. I haven't even fully unpacked from the country trip...ugggg. what's the point when I'll be packing for the next two weekends...go go go. I'm so sleepy, I probably need to just go to bed now...I need sleep, tomorrows a busy day, full work day, then yoga and dinner with some of my VB peeps! whoo hooo. ANd THEN, wait for it, wait for it...VB TOURNAMENT! WHOOHOOOOO I've waited a month for you! Can not wait to play again! 

Ahhh what a wonderful weekend! I love the way he looks at me, and kisses me, and holds me :) I'm so happy when I"m with him... :) I can't wait until I see him again!!! IT"S CRAZY!

OHHHH and Can't wait for spring, HB got us matching VB shorts!! hot hot hot! Thx Dude!

Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

Day 21-23 weekend

OHHHH hahahahah Another weekend I wasn't able to get to a computer to BLOG...SORRY

This is gonna be short, sweet and to the point:

Update: No Meat, No fast food ---well pizza. hahah
I drank beers all weekend, maybe a shot or 5, but hey I was snowed in on the island with my bestie and my baby...what do you expect! lol.
Oh, and I smoked all weekend too - booooo oh well.. ugg.

Even though I failed at most resolutions this weekend I had a blast! It was wonderful to be back on the island with HB, good friends, and new ones! I also got to show country how we do it on EI...however not much going out was happening due to the fact we got 7 inches of snow saturday. Kinda put a damper on beach volleyball and tattoo party - booooooo. However, we made the best out of it, enjoyed the snow on the beach, drank beers all day, and I whooped up on everybody with some Wii Bowling!! hahaah My best score was a 280! heheheheh yeah! No complaints from the weekend, except it was too short, but they always are...another fun filled busy week ahead.....groups, vb, yoga, vb, EI dinner party....just doesn't stop!

Until next time bitches ~ Prost

Day 20

NO Alcohol, No Meat, No Fast Food


Day 3 No smokes - uggg.
Mo asked me last night, how's the 'no smoking' going?? ugg I said, not as good as I would like.. she's been doing amazing, not smoking at all!! GJ! I told her I have now become a 'weekend smoker'...I don't know why I'm still holding on to the title of a 'smoker'...it goes from 'social' to 'weekend'..isn't that the same thing? hmmmm. As much as I do want to quit and get this shit out of my life, deep down I know I'm really not ready to quit. It's easier for me not to eat meat or fast food, because I don't want to...the alcohol is a little easier then not smoking too, shocker I know right! Oh well, one day at a time..even though I have been carring around a pack of my 'p-funks' all week, I haven't smoked them...hopefully HB can keep me so busy working out this weekend, I won't want to smoke - uggg the never ending battle continues. :- /

SO another busy day is ahead of me; hospital this morning, errands for work, new group starting this morning, baby shower/lunch, meeting at the college to see about Nursing School, VB, yoga, pack for the weekend.. holy cow I need a red bull just thinking about my day...glad I got a lil rest last night...I'm so motivated and pumped right now though, I feel I could accomplish anything! The days just seem to pass by a lil easier knowing there's someone out there thinking about you ;) and I don't mean mom or HB....:) Mo asked me last night, so how's everything going? My response - AWESOME! I told her I feel like my life is Finally coming together...you know I feel like yeah, finally...this shit feels right...alright, enough rambling.. back to work :) 

Finally home and showered and dinner yum fish tacos!! waiting for the jersey shore! So, I went to my vb "tryouts" tonight with vb guy..i thought it was cute and funny he wanted to see me play before they let me on the team hahahaha.. doesn't he know who i am?! HA. Anyways, so I got to capt bills, ordered my cider hold the alcohol, stretched and waited..we warmed up, talked, warmed up some more, then warmed up with another one of his teammates...then my people came and I played with them while vb guy watched hahahah.. I passed the test, and made the team! yay!!! I asked him if i should be expecting a call tomorrow, he said nah.. you're on! sweet! So, now I have 2 nights a week for early bird season! SAWEET! Vb guy is nice, pretty good at vb, but I've seen better...his teammate was pretty awesome, hope he's on our team hahahaha.

So laundry, packing, uggg i hate packing, I haven't even unpacked all the way from last weekend..boooo. But i am super excited about the weekend! ooohhh guess who I heard from...barfly...hahahah...he's still alive! and may come play vb with us... keep ya'll updated. too much to do tonight to keep blogging... IT IS JERSEY SHORE NIGHT UNST UNST UNST> 


until next time bitches ~ prost

Gas Station Pick Up

Holy cow.. I can't believe I didn't tell you about my almost pick up date at the gas station yesterday morning at like 0630 hahahhahaha!!

So, my girl and I were otw to work, about to run outta gas, so I stopped..not at my usual spot, due to the fact I was now running on fumes..so I hop out of the silver bullet and see this fly ass truck.. kinda reminded me of Garrett's, but bigger. Chicken lights and chrome, and oooohhh so shiny..so one couldn't help but stare..I didn't think i was staring though.. I was just glancing while pumping my gas lol. As I continue pumping and telling my girl.. look at that sexy truck..hmmmm...the truck pulls out and is about to leave the station, then all of the sudden I see the reverse lights, and the truck is now backing up to the silver bullet.. I was like omg, what is happening lol. He rolled down the passenger window and said "you looking for me"? I was like huh? nawh, I was just checking out your truck..I like your truck hahahaha. He asked if I was heading to work on this shitty day, I said yeah..then he asked me what I was doing after work  HHAHHA OMG.. I was like Yoga and Dinner with friends. .. he was like oh...and drove away.. HAHAHAH OMG.. I told my girl, I can't make this shit up... this shit happens!! I guess it's true, you can be picked up anywhere...one just doesn't expect it at 0630 at a gas station..too funny. I was laughing so hard afterwards I was crying...good shit.
I told Matty Ice later about what had happened...he said, what have we done to you...lol.. Ikr...chicken lights and chrome, hmmmmm. :)

until next time bitches ~ prost

Day 19

NO Meat, No ALCOHOL, NO FAST FOOD. does Michelangelo's count? hmmmm.


Day 2 No smokes.


DOING yoga with some fascinating people tonight :) and having dinner with them.. life is good. missing my boo though....oh wait!!! YAY! Just found out he's coming down for the weekend, and this time I'm meeting him in my hometown EI!! Taking the country boy to good ole EI and to meet HB...before this goes any further she must approve and lay eyes on him! :) Busy busy weekend planned...HB and finishing our Christmas, working out like a mofo friday night, Saturday tat party whoo hoooo, gotta get a hold of my cuz at some point...whooo hoo hopefully we can fit the ECLUB into the mix somewhere...oooohh I wonder if there's a wine tasting this weekend...hmmm oh wait.. i'm not drinking..damn.. hmmm.
Oh well, doesn't matter I get to finally see HB..it's been like a damn month! and i get to see mr. matty ice! :)

Life is good today :) 

Awesome end of the day - yoga and vegetarian dinner with some of my fav vb peeps!! hell yeah! gonna start getting together once a week! we're gonna be the most zen vb team ever! hahahahah 

Excited for the weekend, gotta get through tomorrow first: work, college meeting, vb, yoga, pack for the weekend....whoo hooo HB HERE I COME! a whole weekend with her and Matty ICE!! fuck yeah and VB and Betty.. holy cow.. I can't hardly stand it! 

night

Until next time bitches ~ prost 

Bringing Back the Baskets

OH Yes, it's that time of year again. Basket Weaving Time. Not the weaving you are probably thinking of, but if you have been in my presence over the last few years, you may know what I am referring to. . . Baskets 101. Yes, it is time ladies for baskets to make their yearly come back. It seems like this time every year, hmmmm. It didn't dawn on me until HB and I were emailing back and forth as we do during the day, that I in fact have what I call a "front burner basket". The front burner is exactly where you want to be, hence the name FRONT, duhhh. So for now, Matty Ice reigns in this spot. However like a stove there are two front burners and two back burners, but do not think your baskets have to stop at four lol.

A few years ago when I was bartending downtown, living up the single life. Going out, meeting new people every freaking day I coined the term Baskets. I believe it might have been with my dear ole friend Kerri whom is married now, congrats! I wonder if she married a basket? hmmmm. Anyways, we would go out after work, hit up our favoriate Sunday night spot, FIBBERS, and dance away the night! To keep track of the "boys" who would ask me out, come see me at work, take me to lunches, drive me around when I'm too drunk...we coined the term "baskets" to keep it simple. No strings attached, no commitment, no one gets hurt. It was all mom really, she always told me as far back as I can remember, "don't put all your eggs in one basket". Whether she was referring to work, school, friends, or boys! 

I guess baskets are a spin off of a fuck buddy, however all baskets are not fuck buddies...baskets can be friends of the opposite sex, who ultimatley turn into some of the best friends ex: mr. waterhouse. Baskets can also be potential boyfriends if you wanna take them down that road ex: tall basket turned into a bf. 


Now the whole online aspect has changed the flow of baskets too..i call them the pof baskets. Pof is funny at times though.. sometimes I feel like not even checking my mail, but then I'm like hmmm wonder if there's anything new...but like I was telling my girl today in the car...I can't even think about going out with anyone right now...but i'm not going to completely shut myself off, I'm not an idoit.. and just because I like a guy doesn't mean I'm going to put all my eggs in him...I know I know.. I said I was going to take my guard down and let go, but when it boils down to it, is your guard really ever all the way down? Another defense mechanism.. or survival whatever you want to call it. A girl's gotta survive...so now ya know, consider yourself educated in baskets 101..more to come. 


Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

Day 18

Back to it..

No Alcohol, No Fast Food, No Meat 

Day 1 No smokes

DIdn't work out, but had a busy first day back to work, lost of planning...showers, weddings, tattoo parties, going to see my band hopefully this month and next.. wanna go to Charleston and see my other boo KLove...with HB - that's one of her fav spots!! Did I mention wedding planning, dresses, flights, driving cross country... LA HERE WE COME...well not till around Halloween!!! Anyways, working out tomorrow with my VB peeps and having a Veggie Dinner yum yum.. Thursday important meeting at the college.. cross your fingers...hmmm, then Friday yoga, then off to EI TO SEE MY BETTER HALF!!!! CAN"T WAIT for her to kick my ass in shape and gear..uggugugugughghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then Tat party in jville...then God only knows.. maybe ECLUB in my near future...hmmmmm. That's about it.. keep up or get outta the way. 

Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

This is what it's suppose to feel like

You just have to throw in the towel sometimes, just let go. For an Aries like myself this is a very hard task to complete. I mean not only am I stubborn, I've been burned one too many times and I don't trust boys. I've reached a point I'm tired of putting up the wall, I'm done fighting the feelings, and questioning every move we make. I'm done asking why is this happening, wtf is going on, why the hell did jr. have to bring you here...I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel. It has been about 18 days since we have even known each other, and yet I feel like I've known him my whole life. It's a totally totally different feeling which I'll try and explain later...Since we met we have seen each other every weekend, which is hard considering we are about 4 hours and 270miles away from each other. This is crazy right?! Yeah, it is, yet I can't fight it anymore. I don't even know what "it" is, because neither of us can put it into words...it's ridiculous I know. Even more ridiculous is the fact I talk to him like I'm talking to HB...no limits, no filters, just here it is, laying it out there..take it or leave it. I know I know and he's still here.. hmmmm. :) 
He even made a "basket" reference the other night in walmart..I haven't quite discussed that topic yet, but all in due time.. I mean he straight out said "you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket"...OMG RIGHT! That was my whole saying for my baskets 101 a few years ago...then I told him he was my front burner..my number one basket.. lol .. awwhhhh. 


There's nothing we can't talk about or do. Like he says, he's awesome, I'm awesome and together we're just fucking amazing!! It's funny too because we're both "damaged goods", meaning both been there and got the divorce papers. Only with us, no kids involved! Which is amazing and awesome. (no offense to my dear friends with kids, it's just not my thing right now, nor may never be) Quote of the day "we're like two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl =-)".


IT"S H-A-P-P-E-N-I-N-G...I knew something was different last weekend when we couldn't stop looking at each other. And when he looks at me with those big ole blue eyes I freaking melt. I'm melting just thinking about it. I melt on the inside to the point where I just want to fall to the ground. My body gets weak and tense, and tingly all at the same time, my knees freaking want to give out. I can't put it into words, there's no words in the dictionary or on a Halmark card that can describe what I'm feeling right now. I mean geeze-a-pete I've been in love before right? I mean I've taken the ultimate plunge walking down the aisle. And then I thought I was in love with lil ryan, then there was the latest ex boy friend fiasco that lasted a year and a half on and off, on and off, and off again. Ugg. So you can see my issue with doing this yet again...but that's the thing..it doesn't feel like any of the other past times I was in "love" or I thought I was in love. So I thought and told him, maybe all the past relationships were just practice, maybe they were just the warm up before the real deal. And then it was as if my stomach just dropped to the floor.. am I speaking of "the real deal"? I'm really having this convo with him about destine to be here..taking 20 something years to feel like this..Oh geeze...it is happening!! I don't understand though, is this what everyone else feels? I'm starting to understand the saying "when you know, you know" or "you'll know it when it happens" or "you'll know when you meet him". It's like shopping for shoes. I can't explain what I'm looking for or the feeling I get when i try them on in the mirror and say DAAAAMN. I just know when I see the perfect fuck me pumps :) It's kind of like shopping for shoes but 10,000,000,000,000 times better. I can't freaking stop what's happening inside me. I can't turn my brain off..I'm so glad tomorrow and wednesday are busy days to keep me busy and not gushing over him.


Another thing, I haven't even been wanting a relationship since my last breakup.. I like being single, I like dating, and going to dinners and meeting new people. I like the freedom and independence. And neither has he. This woman last night asked us if we were married, and I was like nah...happily divorced. Then Matty said, hahah no don't you see how happy we are..lol. I mean one minute we're out celebrating new years as friends, when under the stars, the planets aligned and magic happened. No, it's more then magic, it's like being on top of the world in your favorite place in the whole wide world, fireworks, champagne exploding, the Eiffle tower in the background, see i'm not even making sense.. that's what this is. I can't freaking explain it. So if someone could educate me on what it is please fill me in, apparently I've been in the dark the past 20 so years.


So the convo this weekend went something like this: 

why are you doing this to me? IDK, why are you doing this to me? 
What the hell is happening? idk, i can't explain it..me either. 
It's like a rush all over my body, it shakes inside when you touch me. 
I can't explain it. Stop it. I hate you. I hate you too. It's all jr's fault for bringing you here. yeah, it is all his fault. 
I've never felt like this EVER. Me either..and we've been married..
I know right. What are you doing to me? idk. what are you doing to me? 
This is a spell. You're a witch. kisskisskisskisskisskisskiss. 
I can't imagine fighting with you. Ikr, me either..but just wait.. you will lol.
I don't want you to go. me either.

So in conclusion of this wacky wonderful new adventure i'm totally submerged in, I still don't have an answer. lol. Go figure. All i can tell ya is I'm dropping my guard, I'm letting go, and I'm going to try not to fuck this one up. I don't want this feeling to end, I don't want to let it go..it's like a drug and I want more..and if all of this sounds absolutely crazy then SAWEET! I haven't ever ever ever felt like this, and all it takes is one look from him. So this is "it", huh? This is what "it's" suppose to feel like...hmmmm

Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

Mud on my tires

OMG..whoooooooooaaaa What a Wonderful Winter Wonderland, FanFreakinTastic Weekend! I'm not going to bore you with all the details thought, just some of the highlights!! Then you'll just have to follow the next blog...:) hehehee

After my test Saturday super early in the am, I headed myself and my Silver Bullet to the country aka Mooresville/Salisbury/Sparta..hahaha. From Jville it took about 4 1/2 hours uggg, but it wasn't bad at all. I jammed all the way there, caught up on my phone calls, and took in the country side. Thank goodness for GPS getting me there too...as I turned onto their "road" I suddenly stopped. OMG WTF have I gotten myself into I thought..I also had to stop to let another car go by first, not only to be nice, but to see if they got stuck in the bright orange/red clay mud dirt road!! Awesome!! The bug looks good with a lil country mud on her :) I guess about a mile down, I arrived.. You can tell which house is the boys due to Garrett's huge ass Truck in the drive! Yay! I ARRIVED BITCHES!!! 

It was just Matty Ice there to greet me, everyone else had already headed off to the AMVETS to set up for the nights adventures/fundraiser!! It was so freaking awesome to get out of the car, squish the orange clad mud under my sneakers and see Matty! Words can't describe...we didn't have much time to chill, we had to get to the AMVETS. After Matty gave me my new hat (that's right bitches, a new hat!!), took pics of it, and I freshened up, threw on my jeans, flannel, and boots, we were off to the AMVETS in his big ole truck! OTW there I was taking pictures out of the truck of the country..it is really pretty freaking awesome out there. It reminds me of Murphy :) 

Once we arrived at the AMVETS it was time to do work son! Meet and greet with the people already there, setting up for beer pong tournament, of course taking pictures..the set up included several practice rounds of beer pong too..lol. Set up also included, stamping hands, throats, whatever jr got his hands on he was taggin ya..I got tagged right on the front of my throat that said ADMITTED..geeze. Oh and a lil wrestling session..hahaha. The party started and beer pong was under way!! I almost freakin won, boots and I..damn jr and matty ice for winning and taking me down yet again..I held my own though!! SOOO MUCH FUN!! And we all made it home safe and sound, didn't even fall in a ditch...

Sunday we woke up fairly early and heading off to Sparta for the day to hike and take in the mountain air. It was so amazing. Supposedly Sparta is like home of the Christmas trees!! There were Christmas tree farms EVERYWHERE!! Thank God Matty was driving too...driving up and down the mountains are no joke...whoaa..:) We reached the trail, and so much snow was still on the ground, we couldn't drive all the way up there so we parked, and hiked it! It was so pretty and the weather was one of the warmest days up there. Now ladies, one of the best things about hanging with a country boy are the guns and feeling safe and protected! When we hopped outta the truck, he was like, let me grab my gun just in case. I don't know why, but that is some-kind-of sexy:) I mean we could have come across a bear or something, so Matty Ice was there to shoot and protect! hehehee Once we got to the water fall and creek they go to in the summer, it was all iced over and snow everywhere!! So gorgous! We were following the deer and other animals foot prints in the snow..and occasional animal droppings. My pictures from the waterfall turned out to look like freaking post cards! A little part of my felt like S. Palin in Alaska..hhahaa We climbed up on icy rocks and even skated across the frozen creek. HAHA, well I glided, he almost went through it, but I was ready with the video camera just in case. I wanted to be able to post it to break.com or tosh.o if he did happen to fall through the ice :) 

After hiking it was time to head back to town and hit up the g'parents for some homemade fudge and moonshine! Good ole grandparents!! So sweet..some of the nicest people on earth! After a few swigs, it was back to the AMVETS for dinner and reminiscing from the night before...I guess every Sunday night they have dinner $5 all you can eat, some good ole home cooked food..and that's where I tried some deer meat.. opps..it was there and looked good, so I had a bite...then it was back to my veggies and cornbread! No beers for me.. i was still full from PBR's the night before lol. thanks to beer pong..Thank God the boys were just as tired as I was, so we made it a chill movie night at the house!! Thanks boys for a wonderful weekend, I'll definitely be back :) 


Until Next Time ~ Prost

Day 15-17

Road trippin.. OH Lord Oh Lord!! Well I pretty much bunked all of my resolutions in 24 hours!! lol

Saturday night/special fundraising event for the vets - I drank a ton of PBR (beer pong tournament) and vodka and smoked all weekend.. I only drank that one night and it was for a good cause...oh wait, well I did have a few swigs of grandpa's moonshine sunday..but that's it..swear! 

So, I drank and smoked, ate taco bell sunday after hiking..what else is there in Sparta...on top of a freakin mountain..KFC...ahhhaaahah but I stuck with the no meat up until last night at the Amvets...I tried a bite of Matty's deer..it was pretty good I have to admit. Oh and this morning had an egg and cheese biscuit from Bojangles..Now, I'm back home and back to the diet, exercise, and no drinking...the smoking thing I think is gonna be one day at a time, until I can get a hold of it...even though I slipped up once, I'm still sticking to the no drinking thing until next time..lol...honestly I have felt great not drinking...so we'll see.. stay tuned to the next blog too..tell ya all about the Country!! :) 


Until Next Time ~ Prost

Day 14

Whoo hooo I FEEL GREAT TODAY!

Day 14 NO Alcohol, meat, fast food, and day 5 no smokes...chewing the gum now! :)

Worked out, did my yoga with my marines. Nothing else too exciting to report...busy studying for the test tomorrow and packing for my road trip!! So excited!!!!!!! I want it to be tomorrow 4pm already :) I asked Matty what I should pack as if I was asking HB...his response "Jeans and whatever you girls wear with them"..uggg that does not help - thx. I mean I'm going to the country with no side kick, no body guard, no security...I mean...come on...I'm trying to not look like an ass out there lol. Oh well, I'm figuring it out on my own...Since I probably won't be near a lap top or computer to blog this weekend...I apologize in advance...but I"m sure I'll have PLENTY to talk about when I get back!! Wish me luck, cross your fingers, and text/call me tomorrow as I"ll be truckin across the state!!! Can't wait to see you Matty ;). Ready or not country here I COME!!! 


until next time ~ prost

Day 13

NO Alcohol, No Meat, No Fast Food, No Coffee...tea all day!

Day 4 No Smokes ---ugggggggggggggg As I was packing my bag for work today, I put my hand on my pack of smokes left over from the weekend, picked them up, and put them right back down. GOSH that was HARD. I thought for a split second, hmmm a smoke otw to work sounds, tastes, and would feel good. Then i said NO. My least favorite word of all, especially if I'm trying to use it on myself - geeeze a pete. 


So I didn't work out work out, but I did take the pups for a nice long walk, went and watched my buddies play freezing ass vb (they won both)!!!, and met vb guy..chatted for a few minutes, then after the games, we all went out for ice cream..i know it sounds corny, but it was fun.. chatted up a little more. All I kept thinking about was getting home to skype with Matty Ice for the first time, and JERSEY SHORE! OMG so I was at Capt Bills, one of my favorite places to drink hot cider and tuacca, mmmmm and I didn't even have any alcohol...whoaaa.. Gracie was like the usual.. and I was like nah.. just cider, I'm on a sabbatical :( but cider without the alcohol is waaaaay cheaper!! whoo hooo 


I finally got to see Matty and skyped!! I'm happy now!! I can go to bed, oh wait.. after Jersey Shore of course!! Jersey Shore in bed is great! 


The country road trip is still on the books, however it looks like i'll be flying solo..:( booooo, but I'm a big girl I think I can handle it, right? I'm still excited, nervous, and just all over the place. What to pack? what to wear? what if they don't like me in the country?! hahahahanana 


I'm tired now..night night..


Until next time ~ prost

Day 12

NO Alcohol, Meat, Fast Food, or coffee yet.. I've also been trying to decrease the morning coffee buzz...by switching to green tea, or Russian tea. However, this morning, back at work I think I might indulge and grab a cup of joe..i mean waking up at 0430 this morning after not much sleep thanks to Drake and Matty Ice, I need a boost. Maybe a nap..hmmmm i wish.. it was soooo very nice sleeping in yesterday until noon...ahhhhh. And I have a plan to work out today! After last nights workout, and how amazing I felt...I want to do it again!

Day 3 no smokes. 

Uggg, just got home a while ago, and I looked at the dip the boys left in my car which has now reached the top of my change jar, and thought hmmmm, maybe I'll do it tonight...I really wanted to smoke today, but leaving them at home helps. It doesn't help my friend at work was having a somewhat stressful day and blurted out "i need a fucking cigarette" uggg really jess.. uggggg thx, now I want one again...but I'm not. It's way too cold to go outside and have one..thank you coldness.

Eating was good today, oatmeal, fruit, pasta with cheese, until preggers at work was like I want ice cream and pizza!! I was like I'll go with ya!! :) I skipped the pizza though and went for the veggie flat bread at subway :), but then splurged on a very small ben and jerry's milk shake. However it did have low fat yogurt in it....:/ I'm trying damnit.. I LOVE FOOD.. FUCK OFF> and you know what? as much as I would like to work out and all that jazz tonight, I think I'm just going to clean, relax, paint my toes, and cuddle on the couch with my dogs bc that is who I cuddle with the most.. who am I kidding.. hahah.. and besides, I don't feel toooo bad about not working out tonight, i am playing vb tomorrow.. so....i'm good right?! 

I did it again!!! I went to a bar and DID NOT SMOKE OR DRINK! whoo hooo.. I told my friends I really wanted to smoke today, and they said just skype me if you feel the urge hahah! NICE. Thanks Guys! :) It is a little easier with the whole no smoking in bars. I'm starting to set records this year!! Someone get out a gold freakin STAR!! Bahahahah

Maybe I'll work out tomorrow before VB too.. Maybe I should!! grrrrrr.

Until Next Time ~ Prost 

The VB Email

When you think it's happening again, and you have stopped the madness called dating or "looking/searching" - BAAAAM .. volleyball date Thursday night hahahhah bewhwhhwhaa Well, it's not really a date date.. just meeting a new guy to play vb with, but definitely potential new vb team! yay!!  I mean my plate is a little full right now, and I for some reason ;) am not interested in taking on new suitors. I'm happy and "in like" with my...hmmmmm...what should we call my country boy?..."Matty Ice"!  So not really interested in anything else right now, but don't get me wrong...i'm not going off the market just yet. I feel like I just got back in the swing of things...and I am not ready by any means to give up my newly found independence just like that. You're gonna have to work to get me off the market again...you think I'm scared of the dentist, pfffft. I'm terrified of a relationship; I wish I could get a gas mask and xanax for a relationship..HA. I don't know what it's going to take, or how long it's going to take me, but I like that you're trying :) Way to step up to a challenge!!

My other LOVE besides, mom, HB, and Drake is VOLLEYBALL, Beach Volleyball that is!! And winning last season championship just sent me over the edge...even though it was on the ex's team :(...oh well. So, tonight I was chillin online doing my thang when BAM, i get an email from ..... we'll call him "VB guy". It started off with I have been playing sand volleyball for about 4 years we have a bunch of teams at captain bills here in Wilmington. If we aren't a fit for a date maybe you'd like to play on one of my vball teams? So he needs a girl to play early bird on one maybe two teams that don't conflict with my other team Notorious D.I.G.!! It looks like next season I could be going back to my 3 night a week vb madness! hellz to the YEAH!! VB guy's email continued.. blah blah blah Id be down to go running or at vball for a first date, I usually go for a restaurant or somewhere you can actually talk and get to know someone. Let me know if you'd like to get up sometime or maybe play on my vball team. WHoa whoa whoa.. running? who Me?? you must be thinking about my friend HB.. she's the runner.. I'm more of a walk/jog with the dogs around the loop or in the neighborhood. Running HA pffft. Now, VB!! You had me at "sand volleyball" lol. And restaurants are sooooooo lame, well sushi's not, but gooooooaaaaahhhhhoooasssh please no more restaurant dates. At least Matty Ice knows how to show a girl a good time, I mean uh oh uh oh uh oh... the girl part just took over my brain and the rest of my body as a light bulb came on..uh oh .. i may be in trouble.. Matty Ice and I had our first kiss on New Years...oh nooooooooooooooooo..... What does it mean?!?!? hahahah I mean it wasn't like oohhh I want you sexy kiss... it was OMG the countdown is happening 5-4-3-2-1- oh shit.. Happy New Year's Kiss Kiss. :) But still, that's strange.. I am starting to believe he did put a spell or hex on me, hmmmmm. Damn you Matty Ice!!!!! ;)

Until Next Time ~ Prost 

Day 11

NO Alcohol
NO Meat
NO Fast Food

Day 2 No smokes - i didn't even smoke while driving in my car today... i left them at home.. that helps.

The No Meat and fast food are easy...i don't want to eat that shit, so I don't...the alcohol is getting easier...it's easy when people around you aren't drinking! ...I have a feeling though this weekend, I might just crack... :-/
I really really really need to work out today.. it's so easy to just lay around and nap and watch tv when you're snowed in...ahauauahghuguhauhgahgau

AHHHHHHH It feels Sooooo GOOOOOOOD after i work out and shower and do shit for me! :) I love me some yoga!! Great workout again!!! Getting back into the swing of getting up early for work tomorrow... no delays...boooo but glad to be getting back to work.. I'm starting to get cabin fever. 

Today was a good day for Resolutions! I did the damn thing today!!!

Until next time ~ prost

The Reverse

Sooooooo, you know when your parents tell you you can't hang out with a certain someone, or you can't date that one really good looking bad boy, or you better not smoke, don't drink and drive....and it makes you want to do it even more right?! Whether it's just to piss'em off, or just in spite. 

Well, what if the opposite happens. What if someone tells you, it's cool, I don't care if you go out and have lunch with that guy, or whatever..hmmmmmmm now that I have your blessing I don't think I want to do it.. no no no wait a minute.. I see what's happening. You can't use reverse psychology on me buddy..hahahah!  Uggg, like I said in a earlier blog - this is happening way to quickly and I have not a clue about this "relationship stuff". Yeah, I have my girlfriends, friends, and mom to talk to, but they haven't a clue either hahah no offense. I was beginning to think I'm cursed in the whole relationship world, I mean I've been there, done that, and got the freakin' divorce papers. Let me see, after one failed marriage, 2 really fucked up relationships in the last 5-7 years...wtf. WTF have I learned? 

Here's What I have and Haven't LEARNED: 

> I don't do well living with a boy
> I like to be in control, but no one has really stepped up enough to put me in my place when needed except mom and heidi
> I'm stubborned, but we all knew that hahaha 
> I'm not patient; or maybe I've never really had a reason to be, hmmmm
> I don't like paying for everything, or driving your ass around...unless that is driving      your big ole truck :) hahahaha
> At this point in my life, I don't see myself getting married again, or kids..but then again who knows right?! 
> I'm needy and independent all at once 
> I like my girl time, and I like my cute couple cuddle time
> It truly is ALL ABOUT ME, unless there is a friend in need 
> I'm like HB's cat, or my dog, or a 2yo...I don't like the word NO
> I get super bored easily, meaning if you can't keep me on my toes, interested, and trying new shit, I'm gonna get bored and move on
> I like adventure and Trying things I've never done before

DAMN, No wonder I fail at all intimate relationships..ugggghhh. This shit is just as hard as trying to quit smoking..and of course being a girl doesn't help.. all that shit floating around your head..do i do this, what should I say, blah blah blah. I think the bottom line and the point I'm trying to dance around is I'm afraid, I'm terrified about jumping into any kind of whatever, and yet it's happening right before my eyes...it was happening even before I knew it was happening. That's the truly scary part. One day you're chilling with your buddies, drinking, shooting pool, watching people puke, having a grand ole time, then BAM...you're making out, holding hands, texting/calling each other every day...ahhh WTF is going on?!?!?!? I'm afraid to open up my heart again for it just to be ripped out, thrown against the wall, and smashed under his foot like a dead waterbug. I'm afraid I can't do this again, that I'm hahaha getting too old for this shit. I just read something on one of my friends fb along the lines of "I feel sorry for weak men, it's no fun not having a challenge". That is sooo true. I think maybe that's what went wrong with the last one..I need a Man's Man. I want a strong, truck driving, family loving, job holding Man. And it helps if there aren't any kids or baggage hanging around either.. just saying. But until then, I'm perfectly content with my life, my job, my friends...he's just the icing  on the cake I've been waiting to stick my finger in and lick off - hahhaha


But for real..even though I have not a clue on what I'm doing or saying at most times, I'm doing something, some people call it falling in love, or smitten by you, for now I'm going to stick with I'm falling in like with you, and that makes me Smile :) 


until next time ~ prost

"what"?

stomach drops like on a roller coaster, or like when the plane is taking off and you're leaning back, breathing is hard, lump in throat, heart is racing, head is spinning like a top, can't speak like my tongue is swollen and I can't open my mouth except to pick my jaw up off the floor..what's my response suppose to be...I have to respond.. quick, hurry.. the more you wait, the worse it is..so respond with "huh? what? really?" i'm really confused.. i don't think confused is the right word though, shocked, surprised..huh? really? this is happening...no no no it's too soon.. it's too fast... i'm not ready yet.. i don't wanna go down this mountain again; not yet.

so i went with the "what"? with a 4 minute delay... was it the right response..idk.. but for now it is..OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG...what am I doing? breath.. slow down.. stop.. sigh. I guess that wasn't the best response...no re-response..opps. See, i told you I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to "relationship stuff"...ugggg. I keep going to say something, but nothing comes out.. i don't know what to say..so I'll just speak the truth, "you have shocked and surprised me with that.." A part of me says run run run far far far away...the ex will tell you that.. I'm good at running away..which isn't always a good thing : /

finally a re-response...it was meant as a "friend thing"...riiiiiiiiight..right..of course..gotcha...all that roller coaster for a false alarm...sigh.... Quote of the hour - "i'm definitely in like with you though" :) hahah now this I can handle!! and you know what? I'm in like with you too...

This would be a great time to pop open a bottle of wine....uggggg. I told you my life is never dull, never know what is gonna hit me next :) that's why I'm just going with the flow...why question something when it just feels good? why put up the "wall" - oh that's a easy one, duh so you don't get hurt. Isn't getting hurt inevitable though? hmmmmm What if one time you don't get hurt? I wonder what that's like....

Until Next Time ~ Prost

Day 10

NO Alcohol, No Meat, No fast food. Day one no smokes - yep starting over yet again and again... fuck this shit is hard. Sat at home all day and slept, laundry, and was lazy....uggggg Working out tomorrow for sure. Gotta love snow days.. all that was missing some someone to snuggle with..oh wait..Drake filled in today! hahahaha 

until next time ~ prost

Happy Times are here again...

I didn't realize you could be so happy with someone..in such a short period of time. Could be the "honeymoon" phase of whatever this is...no fighting, independent, hard working, big ole truck driving, country music listening.....goodness! But I guess it is true what I have been telling everyone else.. how can you expect to be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself. And you know what?? I am happy..I'm gettin' shit done this year, I feel motivated to move foward, open the next chapter of my crazy adventure I call LIFE.


yeah I guess you could say I'm smittened..I smile just thinking about him...damn, I'm not ready for this again..and the way he looks at me makes me just wanna melt like butter on popcorn. Who knew all it took was a country boy..hmmmmm!  

The brain says this is stupid, stop thinking about him, get over it...keep dating, keep going out, meeting new people, going to lunches and such...but then whatever is not the brain is making me feel funny; not just the butterflies funny either. Lump in the throat, obsessively looking at our pics together (i mean we do take really awesome pictures), my stomach drops, something inside of me is screaming, I can't stop smiling, and he won't get out of my freaking head...ugggugug What the hell is happening?! Then the question is what do I do with it...put up the usual "i don't trust people" wall and back the fuck off, or let down the guard completely and just plunge right into whatever this is....


text of the weekend/day - "how the hell do i miss you so much already" :) 

Until Next Time ~ Prost 

she's gone country

Something is definitely happening...

Another fun filled weekend with my country boys.

Now maybe it's because I've been driving his big old truck all weekend, or listening to country music, or by that means listening to them talk...or watching music videos about chicken lights and chrome. I didn't even know what chicken lights were..hmmmmm. And I call myself a NC girl, pfffffft. Now I know. Or maybe it's the excitement/nervousness about heading to their home next weekend, ahhhh!!!!

So not only did I wake up wanting a beer, but as I was driving to find air filters and in search of a new outfit for next weekend, I found myself checking out the biggest trucks on the road and saw an 18 wheeler and thought, oh such nice shiny chrome.. lol.. oh gosh it is happening..not that it's a bad thing - maybe that's where I've been going wrong all these years - maybe I do need a good ole country boy in my life...just saying. Oh then they left their dip in my car and I thought hmmmm, maybe I should since i'm not smoking...I mean I did try it before back in the day when I was like 16....hmmmm. I haven't done it yet, but I'm not ruling it out. it's still in  my purse.

Ohhh Another wonderful thing about my country boys when going out with them I didn't have to "slut it up" - A) it's too damn cold out there to be "sluttin it up" with skirts, dresses, I'll save that for summer - i give props though to the girls I saw this weekend freezing their asses off for beauty..Good Job! B) It's so much easier to throw on some jeans and a t-shirt bam, you're done. 

So to prepare for the upcoming weekend and the events at the Amvets, I still need an oil change, got some new jeans, and boots, and shirt..so the outfit for saturday night i think is pretty much done! Now I just have to get through the week, take a test saturday morning, then I will be omw to the stix!! I'm really excited for the road trip and the festivities that will be going down..looking forward to four wheeling for sure, and then maybe a quick day trip to Boone for some snowboarding :) 

Until next time ~ prost 

Day 8 & 9

So I guess the weekends are not good for blogging..or not smoking...I skipped yesterday too, so here's the resolution side of the last two days - No Alcohol, No Meat, No fast food, but I did smoke - uggg maybe I should start by no smoking during the week.. baby steps.. I don't know. I had a few yesterday and two today - but no more today..the cold outside helps the quitting process!

Yesterday morning the boys, my country boys that is, loaded up the costumes and headed out for the PLUNGE!!! I truly do have the best of friends :) They woke up on a saturday morning at like 8am for me and actually stood in the cold cold wind and weather, met some of my crazy work people, and supported me through yet another one of my crazy adventures! Matty actually plunged with me too! Garrett was in charge of pictures and towels hahahah he is still not happy with me about waking him up so early....otw home we stopped at Hardee's and get this they have no veggie burgers, so I ordered a side of mash potatoes and green beans. Come to find out the beans have bacon in them - go figure. I'm thinking the mash potatoes doesn't count as fast food right?!

The not drinking last night was easier then Friday night...I stuck with my water and sugar free redbull...didn't even want a beer or shot of jack like friday night. One of the best things about not drinking I wake up early not feeling like shit. However, I did roll out of bed saying to myself and maybe out loud, damn I could go for a beer - hahaha maybe it's because it's Sunday...

Until Next Time ~ Prost

Day 7 - late

DAY 7 (yesterday) I know I know I'm late.. the blog that is, so here's the short version, work was great, yoga was awesome, the boys came into town, sushi, downtown, neighborhood bar, back dt, jimbos....and the best part is I didn't DRINK! I was the DD all hopped up on Sugar Free Red Bull and water - i was peeing like a mother fucker....but....i slipped up and had a smoke or 5. DAMN IT> this is really HARDER THEN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE... I was sooooo proud of myself for making it 7 days.....I broke down around 1057pm....so my question now is...does the count day start over or can I just say it was a slip and keep counting? hmmmmmmm I probably already know the answer...so as I'm waking up day 8 no alcohol, no meat, no fast food, day 1 no smoking AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

K, I gotta get some coffee in me and my GAGA costume for the PLUNGE - Will Blog Later....btw - great great great time last night SOBER! :) saw a TOOOOOOONNNN of people downtown too ahhahahhahaha first thing they would say "OMG let me buy you a shot" ahhhhh i was like nah i'm good... not drinking this month HA!

And the house is finally getting warmer thanks to a new space heater and some DTS time ;)

until next time ~ prost

Cabs RRRR HEREEEEE

IT'S TEEEEEEE-SHIRT TIME!!!!!! 

Oh yeah, 3rd Season of Jersey Shore!! what what.. all I need now is Snooki's Book!! wink wink 

Really? sammi and ronnie are still together?? what a stupid stupid girl 

Sammi refers to JWOW as whore bag..fuck her.. I HATE SAMMI...love JWOW's first word when she saw Sammi was ugghpttt hahhahhahaha ah Sammi and Ronnie are sooooo LAME.. just laying there not playing FLIP CUP.. geeze, get off the show and LET ME ON!!! hahahahah

OMG Deena the new girl got naked with the SITUATION DAY ONE!!! Pulled out her Pikachew.. OMG!!! That is funny.. "It took a day for someone to see my goods, I can't" - Deena

YES already FIGHTING!!! GO JWOW!! ahhhhh shitt! The best part of the show was the last 10 minutes.. I want more I want more... fuck, now I gotta wait a week...geeze.

Some of my favorite quotes from the show ~ 

"GO Guy Shopping" - Deena 

"Ron and Sam pffffft" - Snooki 

"I'm in Sea Side Bitch" - Snooki 

"Gorilla Guido Juice head heaven" - Snooks

"It's me against the whole house" - Sammi

"I have Vinny in the house, so maybe I won't need my vibrator" - Snooks

"I'm a walking holiday, I'm a blast in a glass" ....- Deena 

hahahah OMG this girl is too much! I love her already...

"You're gonna hook up with grenades but you can't make out with me"? - Snooks

"they're like dead" - JWOW

"you're a slutty ass bitch" - Snooks to Sammi

"He saw my NaNa" - Deena

Until Next Time ~ unst unst unst PROST