I'm so freakin' fickle as FUCK.
Is it fickle or is it because I have obtained the X chromosome? Either way.. I wish at times I could shut my brain off from analyzing every thing, making lists in my head, playing the what if game with myself, and just chill..Oh I can play it cool on the outside, but if you could see the millions of monkey's raging in my fucking head you'd wonder how I keep it together so well... well duh.. that's why God invented Vino and trashy television of course!! :) and the beach, yoga, running...anywho.
There have been several times in my life the thought of switching out my X chromosome for a Y has crossed thru my big ole brain...and not just for the obvious reasons like:
boys get to pee standing up absolutely ANYWHERE they want
when they don't shower it's perfectly acceptable
they don't have to shave their legs or peekachoos
boys get to roll out of bed, wipe the crust out of their eyes and mouth, throw on dirty jeans and a t-shirt and need no wardrobe change throughout the day
they can pack for an entire trip in a Food Lion Bag..it's just not fair LOL.
ALl of these are great reasons, however after dating boys for the last .... say 16 years and this is not counting my "pre-school" bf Jon bc frankly I just don't remember. I guess my first real boyfriend was 5th or 6th grade at Gramercy Christian School..hahah yep I went to a Christian School, right! Jefferson Balou or something like that..that's when I fell for the blond hair blue eyes hahahha and my first real kiss..on a field trip at the aquarium.. wow.. why and how do I remember all of this after alllllll these years?? You see it's the freakin' X Chromosome...I betcha boys don't remember bs like this..damn sentimental chromosome Aggggggggggg.
Back to the point, after 16 years of dating and 23 months of marriage a girl learns a thing or twenty about what she wants and how to get it :) Let's see here...longest relationship ...hmmmmm I guess it was my ex-husband if you include dating and marriage.. all for a total of rougly 3.5 years.. damn.. that's a long time.. and you see this is why I tend to date like a guy.. I think 3.5 years is FOREVER...usually my typical relationship a few months maybe a year if you last that long..or if I don't get bored..that has A LOT to do with it...I get super bored super fast. Fact.
Let's see, then there was the middle school bf..all through 8th grade, until we went off to separate High Schools...HS dating was always fun...and a bit messy at times lol..HS was when I discovered oooohh it's ok to date older boys...perfectly acceptable to date someone 23/24 when you're 16 bc your mom introduced you and he's a "good guy" HA.. that was fun times.. all the spiced rum and tequila worms a teenager could ask for!!
Then, I discovered my first Leo Lover...it's true Leo's and Aries are just meant to be together...and it helped he was at ECU so me and the girls had a place to PAAAARTY!!
hmmmmm then college, oh yes...not quite sure how I met this one, but dating the manager of Bert's Surf Shop on EI definitely had it's perks!! like the time Crystal and I needed new going out wear, but the shop was closed..thanks for opening it up and letting us shop celebrity style!! Oh and dont' you know I still rock my 2 beach cruisers!! Oh Lord he had a crazy mother though...a three legged dog, and a pool :) But he too got his heart trampled on..i got bored/drunk/21st bday party... Leo showed up.. you know the story.. you just can't keep Leo's and Aries apart LOL Bha ahahah ahah.
Then I realized it was WAAAAAAAAAY more fun not to be in a serious relationship...I liked the 'playing the field' days...good times.. then I met my stupid husband...was blinded by IDK what..after that fiasco it was onto the playing field Wilmington Style!! oh yeah!!! A bunch bigger pool to fish in... Lets see after the disaster of a marriage there were just 3 "serious" ones..i think... the German, oh the German..lil Ryan..which I think he has a kid now..awww lil Ryan...and the no driver license, part time cook, video game playin, stripper fucking ex asshole. The German was a great summer fling...then he went back to Germany of course.. still great friends...I'll always have a special place for the German...I thought lil Ryan was it...we even went as far as living together...whoa!! This was the first boy I lived with besides the ex husband...this was serious...oh I left out the part he was only 20 when I met him... HAHHAHA I took him to his first legal bar for his bday hahahhah damn it...let's see that would have made me...25 ish...hehehehhe OMG he was just such a lil cutie..HOT, Young, and turned me on to Lil Wayne...oh yeah! I think it was after lil Ryan I had written off boys, dating, living together...He absolutely broke my heart, horrible, just horrible. Some advice, living together after you break up...not good for the psyche.
So here I was bartending, going out all the time with my friends and girls..living the life!! Loving Life!! this is where the term baskets came about...HAHAHhahah there was nice/lunch basket, beer delivery guy basket(s), and tall basket who turned into be and the no driver license, part time cook, video game playin, stripper fucking ex asshole. . Coming off a bad break up I was not inclined to jump right into another serious relationship..so we hung out..then I got rid of all my other baskets and dated this guy..worst relationship ever...sure it was fun in the very beginning, but he was waaaay to possessive and always keeping tabs on me...like if i went to the gym after work and didn't call him he'd freak the fuck out and accuse me of cheating..you would think I would have learned and figured out my learning curve by now but noooooo i stuck it out for a lil while longer then push came to shove..literally and this courtship ended.
Over the last 9 years of dating there's been heart break, and heart breaking from both sides. Each time I get a little tougher, a little wiser, one more brick is added to the wall and one more toe is put back firmly on the ground. . . So why oh why do we as women go right back into relationship after relationship.. what are we searching for? what are we hoping for? What am I searching for? I had the fairy tale wedding, I dated a motorcycle driving, tennis playing European, I've rocked the cradle, musicians...I think you're meant to love lots, touch people's lives, have them touch yours, then move on...maybe it's a never ending search of nothing. Maybe nothing is supposed to last forever. Forever is some made up fairy tale word from Disney movies and grandparents. Maybe it's a never ending journey...one adventure after another...whatever it is, us X chromosomes are very resilient..we tend to bounce back, jump back on the horse..with help of course from the best medicine - your girl friends!
Until Next Time...to be continued.
