The never ending battle

I get chills when he texts me..brrr..that can't be normal. I think I've said it before, but it's like fireflies jacked up on redbull swirling around inside me..what the hell is it? And I know I'm not sick sick..I had my flu mist bitches :) He makes me smile every time he shoots me a text. He just doesn't say the right things, he goes above and beyond  and back again to the point of driving me craaaaazy! And the coolest part - he calls me dude hahahahahaheeeheee. Now, you might think that's silly or dumb, but to me, it means the world!! If you know me, or been around me a day, you know I call everyone dude...I guess it all started with me and HB...I can't really remember...I didn't realize I said it so much until my 9yo cousin asked me over Christmas, "cuz, why do you call me dude?" LOL. I nearly fell over laughing..I said, "well dude, I call everyone dude...is that cool?" She said, "yeah dude"!! ahhwwww :) So the fact that HE calls me dude, to me is AWESOME and AMAZING...I know I know I'm a goof ball whatever :P And in advance I'm apologizing if the next 1,000 blogs are about him :) He's my front burner, my baaaabbby, my country boy, he's my dude..Today my mom told me she was talking to my aunt and she made a comment about how I have a new boyfriend...hmmmmm mom chuckled as she told me how she told my aunt..nawhhh she doesn't have a bf, they're just friends :) Awww mom sticking up for me..she does listen :) thx mom! It's a never ending battle the battle of "titles" and "officalness". After every ending relationship I go through the phase of ooooh I'm a tough girl, I don't need a man, I don't need to be in a relationship...I don't do titles...Well it's like marriage folks..once you sign on the dotted line (or change your fb status) everything goes sour. And not the sweet and sour yumminess, but rotten sour bitter BULL SHIT. So you can see why I'm not partial to the whole "title system".. why can't I have my own fucking rules? huh? Well, I CAN BITCHES AND I WILL!!! pffft :) And I'm not opposed to all titles, I just want it on my terms, my rules, my form..damn I'm sounding like an Aries Nazi...thanks Dude (HB ;). . . and I do have a title - I'm his "baby" :-) After tonight it's only one more and a wake up!!! I can't wait to see him :) I wanna go to bed right now just so I can wake up and be one day closer...damn I'm cheesy...
Another never ending battle to say it or not to say it...I almost said it again today, well texted it..and if you're gonna say it, you can' t do it in a text ...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm    Stay tuned folks...


Until Next Time Bitches ~ Prost

Day 31

LAST DAY OF THE MONTH!! whoo hoooo WE MADE IT!! :) Thanks Ya'll! :) Goal for the month is to get more followers.. now I know most of you read this on FB...but I would like for you to "follow" me too!!! It only shows 8 followers which one is myself, my bff HB, and my ex which I'm sure he stopped reading months ago...SO FOLLOW ME BITCHES :) lv ya


So it's here! Last day of JAN..lets tally it up:
Days of No meat 30 (had one bite of deer in the mtns..thx Matty)
Days of No Alcohol 26!!! damn pretty good
Days of No fast food 29!! (again thx Matty lol)
and the whole no smoking thing...well...that's a bitch.. and until I'm truly ready to see myself as a "non-smoker" I don't think I'll ever quit.. yes I hate it, I hate the smell, I hate paying $6 for a pack, but every now and then it's just so so so sweet... ugggg any suggestions?!


Ok, so one thing is on my mind this morning.....2 more days and a wake up!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAAYYY! Can't wait to hit the road and not only do I get to see Matty Ice and Gary, and some of my new bitches like Amber...but also I get to see my favorite band American Aquarium!!! whoo hoooo if you don't know... look'em up..they even have a song named AnnMarie!! heheheheh


ok, well I must stop bloggin and get to work uggggg HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE

half way thru the day whoo hoooo and no smoking yet today.. even though I really wanted one otw to work.. i didn't.. yay! Geeze work is flying by, staying busy ... blha blha blah! but at least it's fun and I get to work with cool ass people :) I'm outta here.. maybe I'll blog later, maybe you'll just have to wait till next month :)

until next time bitches ~ prost

Day 30

No Meat, No fast food, No booze, No smokes (day 3 on the no smokes)...opps, I had one today, and it felt great. and I had a few swigs of wine when i got home from vb.. opps..i really miss red wine.. maybe I'll just go back to wine .. :)

Coming soon starting FEB, I will no longer be tracking the days in the title, nor the NO meat, No blah blabh blahb.. I'll just write about it.. k..got it? good.  :)

what a wonderful weekend to be outside!! It's sooo warm!! can't wait for more vb action tonight...and I actually get to play with vb guy..hmmm

Yeah the day is almost over.. i'm pooped..I guess that's what 3 + hours of vb will do!! Went and had sushi before vb with vb guy...girls gotta eat right...even though I guess it was technically a "date" since he paid...i just didn't feel anything. I mean he's a great guy don't get me wrong, good looking, great job, motivated, good vb player...well rounded...just no feelings there..and the whole time we're eating there's only one person on my mind and in my heart...i guess i'm starting to realize it more and more each and every day that i'm smitten by the one and only ... i don't even know if i'm ready for all of this again.. i like the dating thing and not having to answer to anyone..but i did feel a lil guilty being out with vb guy tonight..not the guilty feeling of ohh i'm cheating, but for vb guy..is it leading him on by having sushi before vb together.. or is it just friends grabbing a bite to eat before getting all sweaty.. i'm thinking the latter. We had some good games tonight!! Damn it Matty get outta my head...no not really..in a way I like that he's always on my mind, it just sucks he's 270 miles away from me :( only a few more days!!!! Heeeeey Baaabbbby!!


Maybe I"m just not made to be in relationships...i like playing the field it's fun! But then again I also like knowing.. like coming home to that one person everyday, texting and sexting all day with him, and waking up every morning to the one who makes me happy and smile, and feel that all is right in the world...damn I'm confusing.. no wonder you boys have a hard time.. i can't even figure it out on myself.. geeze. i now feel myself rambling, so I'm gonna stop myself, and stop boring all of you with my back and forth girl babble, and leave it in my head lol.. 

until next time bitches ~ prost

Most Wonderful :)

I have the absolutely most wonderful man in my life, and nooooo it's not Drake. He is sooo sweet, so caring, so freakin' thoughtful!! I didn't know guys like this even existed in real life..or that this could be so easy, and feel so so natural. It's not work at all...i use to always tell my ex, well we have to work at this...it's give and take...but it's not like that at all...it's not work, it's fun, exciting, I fill full of life! :) I feel Alive and ooozzzing joy and happiness out of my whole body to the point I get chills. I can't stop smiling, I feel all giddy all the time, and people at work are starting to tell me I'm glowing :) HA..I'm starting to feel complete and it's an indescribable feeling. that's all, I just wanted to shout it out off the roof top, off the tallest mountain, and longest pier. Oh and not to mention freaking sexy as hell!!! :) I was describing him to Liz today at vb with my huge cheesy smile on how sexy and gorgeous he is...bc she was drooling over the vb guys, and her friend was like "my husband is the hottest man", and I was like nawh...my baby is...his eyes, the way he looks at me, his Mohawk and tattoos, the way he pulls me into him...omg i'm melting now...BAAABBBY, I freaking...well, you know.................you're the one Matty.

until next time bitches ~ unst unst unst :) 

Day 29

NO Meat, No fast food, No Alcohol ( well i am playing vb today so maybe i'll have one hahahah, depends if vb guy buys me one lol)

NO smokes, again I'm playing vb...so maybe i will, maybe i won't.. hmmmmm

Did  you guys realize this is the first weekend since the 30th of December I haven't been or seen Matty Ice...ikr...But it's ok, I'm super busy this weekend and I can clean the house and wash my dirty dogs..things that have been lacking due to my traveling the state hahahahah..I hate I'm missing HB's work party...i mean open bar, tuna, crab cakes...but I gotta have a weekend to myself.. it's kinda nice.. well so far.. oh shit.. i gotta go.. vb time... 

whoo hooo I didn't smoke or drink at vb today! My friend asked, Annmo, where's your beer?? i was like i'm on sabbatical.. everyone laughed.. heheheh vb was good.. didn't win a lot, but had a blast..and there was some nice eye candy out there today..the doubles men's team seem to be practicing today...hmm hmmmm

Oh how I miss Matty Ice.. I guess I could take drake for a walk..or go running, or something...then a bath and nap are def in my future..well I did walk/jog with Drake today, bathed him, bathed me lol, no nap yet..but I get to sleep in tomorrow sooooo excited for that to take place. I can't remember the last time I was able to sleep past 9am! OMG so at vb today it was nice a warm, so no vb socks were required which I OMG realized I need to do my toes:) another thing I realized was how ashy, white, and hairy my legs were uccck. I guess that's what the winter does, and not seeing matty this weekend doesn't require shaving lol..so as soon as I showered, that was first on my list, remove hair from legs. whoooof, feel much better. Can't wait for more vb tomorrow night :) 


My mind completely goes blank when I start talking to him..i can't blog right now...ahh ok, focus...damn it...I know I said I was gonna tear down the wall, and I have torn it down about 1/2 half...it's that last 1/2 that's a bitch to get down...as much as I want to just give in 100% and let go, and just let fate or whatever this is take over...i'm still nervous as hell..It feels soo different, yet so right all at the same time. I mean if there truly are real soul mates out there.. i think i've found my match...I was beginning to think HB was my soul mate and we were gonna have to convert to lesbos..i guess she's now off the hook, well at least for now dude. I can't even say it...I don't know if i'm ever gonna be able to say it again...I mean I wanted to last weekend, I wanted to today, I just don't. Maybe it's the last thing I'm holding onto..if i never say it...i can't get hurt right? I mean I say it to Drake, and MOm, and HB all the time, and even to G-money aka Jr. but they're never gonna rip out my heart, squeeze it between their teeth, then throw it against the fucking wall...so for now I'm still holding onto it.. well maybe I'll blog again later, maybe you'll just have to wait till tomorrow...
ps, i did have a few swigs of wine tonight while i was cooking heheeheh :) 


Until next time bitches ~ prost

Day 28 - late

NO MEAT, NO ALCOHOL, NO FAST FOOD....

smokes..? hmmmmmm no smokes today!! 

I was sooo busy yesterday I couldn't even blog...geeze! then I came home and slept and tried to catch up on my DVR...nice to do nothing!!! 

Short blog, I'll blog later...gotta head to VB...

until next time bitches ~ prost 

Day 27

NO MEAT NO ALCOHOL NO FAST FOOD

FIrst of all I want to apologize for my ADD blogs lately..I feel like I have just been all over the place, but like I tell my friends, when I'm writing I write like I'm talking to you..so if my brain is being a lil ADD, then so will my blogs.. I'll try and keep it under wraps :)

Since it is nearing the end of the month, I wanted to give you guys an end of the month report on the resolutions...in the last 27 days I have had one bite of deer meat, drank 4 days, ate fast food (taco bell) once, and well the smoking - the smoking is a bitch..haven't had any today so far, but the day's not over. uggg I had one otw to lunch...ugggg f'n Jess..hahahah not her fault..it feels so natural and right with the world to have one in my hand..ahhhhh. One of these days...maybe I need to be hypnotized, hmmmm.Oh Geeze, i had another one..damn.

So, I forgot to mention last night that I got IT!! I got gma's approval from country heheheh :) This is a pretty big deal...I mean other then the best friends approval or roommate or parents, it's the gma who matters the most, so that was good news!! I was telling my girl at work what gma had said about me, that i was "cute as a button and has a wonderful personality". Bruce said, duh, tell me something I don't know lol.. true.. but it's still wonderful to hear :)

My head is starting to race like a girl, and i'm not liking it one bit..I keep trying to turn it off, think about something else, and flat out tell myself..it's no big deal dude, STOP.
This morning was strange, I woke up at 0330 and felt well rested, so laid back down thinking oh I'll just rest until 04 and be cool, get up and get shit done..but when I woke up at 04 I felt sooo tired and drained...at least I was carpooling today (due to my POS car) and got to catch a lil cat nap before work :) yay! I wish I could sleep all day...I think I might try that this weekend...so anyways, I was up and moving around and staring at the one thing all girls stare at in their closet (well at least I do). I stare at them everyday at least twice a day. Now, HB stares at her pics of bikini babes on the fridge for motivation, my vice are my clothes!! Specifically the skinny jeans, or what I call my retired pants. The pants you sit aside, or hide, or box up until that one day when you'll be able to wear them in public again!! So I now have my retired pants in my closet on the shelf so as soon as I walk in, they're the first thing I see...I was feeling a lil confident this morning, I guess from playing vb last night and weighing a lil lighter the other day. So, i did it, I started with one pair, two, three, and four pairs I was a trying on machine this morning!!! One pair is back on the hangers, my fun tight low rise jeans that make my butt look amazing are now able to button...however, there is still a lil muffin top going on..so not ready for public yet, but hopefully by next thursday when I hit up the big country again ;) Mission Sexy Jeans is on..meaning work outs everyday until thursday..I worked out wednesday, vb last night, plan on yoga tonight, I have yoga friday morning...vb saturday and sunday...so If i just keep it going and try not to drink anymore milkshakes this week I should be ok heheheeeee Why do I love milkshakes soooo much? I think I can go a week without one though, I mean it will totally be worth it, to slide into my sexy jeans, and a lil something something for my country weekend ;) Damn it's still a week away...uggg but at least today is almost over! so really we're looking at 6 days and a wake up :) MUWAH. 

 So my dear dear friend Cam hooked it up on the window tonight!! whoo hooo it's up and he said he can fix it this weekend! saweet!! Awesome!! Thank you sooooo much! So after my window was fixed, i should have gone home and worked out, but house duties called, cleaning, laundry, and cooking...yum stuffed jalapenos with potatoes, cheese, and other yummy ingredients!! hmmmm. Now time for Jersey SHORE UNST UNST UNST and bed.. I miss my baby MUWAH. . 


Ohh another thing I thought of today is I think I will be dropping the "Day #" in the title of my blogs after this month and just title them accordingly, but still have the number inside my blog...hmm hmm yep, that's what I'll do...unless of course I forget..numbering is just so easy lol. 

Until next time bitches ~ unst unst unst